Dis-ap-point-ment

So, I had my weigh-in, too. According to the scale, I didn't lose anything. I didn't gain anything either, but I feel more tone and tighter in my core. I spent days over the last week sore in different muscles and I'm sleeping better at night.

I wasn't too surprised, and not even really disappointed. There's a reason I don't own a scale. What matters to me is that my jeans fit the way I like them, I can see muscle in the mirror, and I can do two or more hours of karate at a hard pace without passing out. I'm getting there, and that's what matters.

I do really feel like I lost some inches (or quarter inches, or 1/8 inches) because my gi pants fit a little more loosely. I think Carl was more disappointed than me about the whole thing. He's working as hard as I am to lose this weight. He didn't quite pout on the outside, but I could tell he pouted on the inside.

I usually don't lose the rest of my baby weight until I stop nursing, which will be around March for me. Until then, my body wants to hang on to what it has to feed a growing baby. I'm alright with it. I'm sculpting underneath the momma suit and it will all pay off, just not maybe the way you'd expect. When I stop nursing, I'll lose ten pounds off my chest the first week. That'll be a good week for Carl.

I feel better, I move better, and I'm liking the treadmill a little more every time I get on there. Now I better hit the hay so that I have what I need for karate in the morning and Carl in the evening Yawn..........

Family Her-Story

I guess I should commit to a target weight for the next year. I would really like to get back down to 145, which is where I felt like a hot mom and could do karate or haul rocks in my yard all day. Hmmm, I think I'll shoot for 140. I'm more interested in having a tight butt and guns. I like to wear tank tops and show off buff arms.

My last weigh-in on my dad's scale was 182. That gives me another 40+ pounds to go, which I think is possible but still a challenge for me. I'm only 5'1" and the charts say I'm supposed to weigh 118. At 140 I don't think I'll have anything else to lose but my boobs. Not willing to sacrifice those. I have an intimate relationship with Victoria's Secret that I'm not going to give up. And while I have a larger badonkadonk, I don't necessarily want to lose it. I just want it to look good.

Last night I showed Jenn and Michelle my dad's gym. He has his own personal work out equipment that rivals Gold's Gym (minus the treadmills--we don't do treadmills, we do karate). I grew up in a family that works out. Always have, always will. My dad has a six-pack and he's sixty-one years old. I've always taken it for granted that I would stay in shape. We eat, sleep, work out, and practice procreation. It's just the family value system. My daily priorities put working out above doing my hair. If I only have an hour and I have to choose between getting sweaty and washed up or showering and make-up, getting sweaty always wins. My dad gives us things like Bowflexes for Christmas presents. He's not giving us a not-so-subtle hint, he's giving us something he knows we'll use and enjoy.

I also never saw my mother 'diet' in terms of limiting calories. Never even heard the word until I got to high school. Cutting down on my calories was never my solution to weight. I eat when I'm hungry and I eat until I'm full. Now that I'm over 30, I have become conscious of my own family's daily menu because I want my husband and I to live a very long time. He's at high risk for heart attack and diabetes, and I don't want to be a fit and beautiful widow.

I feel lucky for the legacy of working out. It makes things so much easier now when it comes to staying healthy. I want to leave the same for my children.

BFF

I am tired. I had a good workout in karate today and I can feel it all the way through my muscles. It wasn't the kind of workout that makes the sweat drip down your face and onto the dojo floor, but it was the kind of workout that hits every part of your muscles. We worked on kicks, so it's mostly in the legs. Gonna sleep well tonight.

I'm really proud of Michelle and Jenn. It's one thing to struggle with your body privately and be self-critical without an audience, but it's a brave thing to put your thoughts, feelings, and struggles out there for everybody to see and hear. I'm not very shy or self-conscious, and weight is an issue that I'm not very emotional about. I know that it is not so matter-of-fact for many others. I think it's impressive that Michelle and Jenn are sharing all of this with you because it's a hard issue to share. Especially so publicly.

I'm glad that at the end of it all, we'll have a longer forever as BFFs. The best part of it for me is knowing that my friends will be healthier and live longer and we will have many girlfriend trips to Las Vegas!

The Contest

So this is set up as a contest. I'm not sure how getting in shape works as a contest. I've always just done it for me, not even just to look good. I get addicted to the way my body feels when I'm strong and flexible and have enough endurance to save the world and have dinner on the table by 5:00.

In this blog you'll put up with me talking about karate a lot. Well, 'a lot' is probably an understatement. I'll probably talk about karate pretty much every blog. If it gets too redundant, let me know. I'll take your comment into consideration and then still probably talk about karate in every blog. It's what I have morphed into through years of hard training. It sounds cool, I know. It's fun to tell people what I do, "I teach karate at a boarding school," and then not quite as fun to listen to the jokes about beating them up, etc. I don't kick anybody's ass but my own. I just push myself to be better because outside of karate I don't have many limits to push.

I've trained in karate for about eight years, or seven if you discount this last year that I was pregnant and couldn't train. My baby caused some problems with my hips and I'm still getting over them, and the thirty-plus extra pounds I'm still carrying around has set me back a few years in training, but I'm catching up fast.

If these first posts sound a little dry, it's probably because I'm inexperienced at blogging and it'll take me a few rounds to warm up. That's why I'm starting now.

More tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...