Self-affirmations are hard for some people. I will admit that my ability to do it has been something I have probably taken for granted most of my life. Thanks to a comment on my previous blog, I realize I might have made it sound as if it should be easy for everybody. I wasn't thinking that, I was just trying to give you a place to start if you thought it might work for you.
Another aspect of this is that I tend to have a positive collection of thoughts about others and their physical make up. When I look at another person, it is similar to when I look at myself; I usually think of four or five positives about their appearance to maybe a negative, and the negative tends to be the last on my list.
For example, when I'm with Michelle, I think about how much I like her eyes and that she has nice lips. This is not a compliment in comparison to myself--I don't have to think that I don't have nice eyes in order to think that she has nice eyes, I just think that she has nice eyes. Same with the lips. Jenn has great hair and nice lips (no, I am not into kissing girls, these are just examples from people I see often). I think my sister-in-law Andrea has great hair, eyes, style, and movement. My cousin Ragan is pretty all over. I think these things when I see them.
Maybe it would be easier to be positive about the appearance of others, but you have to be careful that their positives do not result in thinking negatively about yourself in comparison. It's just things about them you find pleasant to look at, not things that you think are better about them than you.
Now, I can say that I have a positive sentiment override when it comes to thinking of someone's appearance, but I'm no saint. I go apenuts about people's habits. I don't even want to go there because I can be mentally downright cruel about a pet peeve. Some things I easily let go when I realize I have no control over it, but I really get in a fit over things that I think I should control and try to control. Ouch.
So, your butt and your thighs are safe with me, but you better be sure to put the toilet seat down!
Monday, April 27, 2009
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6 comments:
Hee hee hee....I think is my favorite blog of yours.
I agree! I will have to be careful with that toilet seat next time I am there! :)
First of all, I have to say that I'm glad you like my "movement". Secondly, I have to say that I also tend to see people's positives way more often then their negatives and I've learned that unfortunately that can sometimes be a bad thing. How you ask? Because then I end up spending an afternoon with some white trash, redneck, serial killer just because they have good taste in lawn ornaments or something... ya know?
K, I know what Andrea's talking about. People who know me and my husband think he's the optimist, but he's really just a well-disguised pessimist and I have entirely too much faith in the human race. At least that serial killer hasn't caught up with me yet.
Oh, and I got the term 'Positive Sentiment Override' from the two years of therapy we went to faithfully. It works!
Ahhh, thanks! I'm embarrassed :) I try to have a positive self-image and I always notice things I like in other people (like great eyes...especially light eyes on dark guys.....ohhhhh yeah!) Oops, just a little side-tracked!
I think it's gotten easier as an adult to "like" myself, but those negative thoughts still have a way of sneaking in.
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